Modern Romance

Hey! This is an old blog from my old website and I thought it was interesting in light of how much dating changes in quarantine. The pixelated interactions I bemoan throughout, are now the only available alternative. So yea. Remnants of an easier time that seemed hard a few years back. Enjoy :)

I recently finished up Aziz Ansari’s “Modern Romance”. I highly suggest the audiobook (especially if you enjoy being lightly berated for being too lazy to read). While it’s a funny listen, written by a comedian, it’s incredibly well researched and very thorough, exploring the changing landscape of dating in the Internet connected world. Like all of the best comedies, there was an element of melancholy to the whole book. A sense of uncertainty that was explored but never really given a solution. Dating is hard. We are the most connected generation in history and with all of this newfound power we’ve reduced perhaps our most basic societal desire to swiping right or left. It’s efficiency is almost admirable, but ask anyone who has been in the dating pool for any length of time and they will tell you that unlimited choice begins to sound more daunting than exciting.

I discuss this often with my cousin. Both of us, not unlike other men our age, spend a fair amount of time and energy chasing girls. Even seemingly minute decisions can revolve around how a cute girl might be more inclined to find me interesting if I choose option “a” over option “b”.

Blue jacket or black?

Modern hipster haircut with the hard part, or a Ryan Reynolds high and tight?

Didn’t that girl from the gym say she liked Ryan Reynolds? (I don’t even remotely look like Ryan Reynolds. I should Google how to look like Ryan Reynolds)

What should I eat?

Who will be there?

Is this a good date spot?

Where are all the cute girls hanging out when they aren’t at the freaking grocery store?

I should Google where Ryan Reynolds meets women.

In the end, swiping on an app in a coffee shop while waiting to see if anyone interesting shows up seems to be the new national pastime.Loitering around with eyes glued to a phone wondering if everyone else is as miserable with all of it as you are. Snapping a quick picture of your craft coffee with a snarky, witty and succinct tag so people think you’re clever and fun. Updating Facebook to reflect that awesome meal you just cooked with the ingredients separated out on the plate to appear more colorful. And hitting up that girl that looked kinda cute on Tinder, waiting a few hours, then bumming that she never responded.

We are a generation of lonely people that appear to be largely unsure of how to interact when things aren’t shareable. Image takes a front seat and everything else, including those experiences upon which we build an image, come second. I’m just as guilty as anyone else. Perhaps more so. I inch closer to thirty every single day and the thought of logging onto any and all social media is EXHAUSTING. But I do it. With gusto and purpose because sometimes, a cute girl talks to me. Sometimes we go on a date, and in those moments of unplugged, old-school simplicity, everything seems to slow down, and makes more sense. Everything dials back down from 11 to something more manageable. Some pizza, a pretty girl and a couple of beers, or wine, or cokes, or whatever she likes. Does she like Ryan Reynolds? I’ll check her facebook when she has to pee.

Get Modern Romance: Modern Romance
Get my book: No-Mod