Our fathers were our models for God

I’m lucky. 

Extraordinarily so. 

I’m a dad.

I have a daughter who still thinks I’m cool despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. She still asks me questions, instead of google, because she believes in her heart that I’m a better option than the computer speaker in her room. She likes the music I show her, trusts me to choose movies and generally makes me feel like a much, much cooler version of myself.

She’s remarkable. And thankfully not yet embarrassed by her old man. 

Today she made me breakfast in bed. 

I’m lucky. 

“Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?” 

That’s a line from one of my favorite books/movies, Fight Club.

It’s true. 

Before our kids are able to stumble through their own rough conceptualizations of spirituality and an afterlife, they are given us:  flawed, under-educated children, masquerading in adult body suits, as their first deity. 

And the importance of that parental role cannot be overstated.

I say “parental” role. It may be “father’s day” but that has NEVER meant your biological sperm donor. 

Maybe your bio dad was great! Good. Embrace that gift. But if he wasn’t, that’s okay too.

Maybe your mom raised you by herself and did her best to fill in the empty spaces. If you’re able to read this, she prolly did alright. Wish her a happy father’s day.

Maybe your dad sucks. An uncle, or grandfather or friend filled that role. That’s good. And that’s worth celebrating. Happy father’s day to them too. 

Maybe you can’t think of anyone that close in your life. Maybe instead, it was a teacher, a coach, or a boss at a highschool job somewhere. Celebrate those wonderful people.

Today is about those formative models for God. That impossible role, that with hindsight, you can empathetically appreciate. 

There’s a scene in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (*SPOILER ALERT*) where Yondu has just saved Star Lord  (which is weird to type out, but hang with me) and this man is flying Star Lord into the sky. Yondu raised Star Lord in the absence of his own dad and honestly did a horrible job most of the time. But he really did try, he made an effort. An effort that Star Lord’s father never did. Yondu says, in reference to Star Lord’s biological dad, “He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.” (*END SPOILER*)

I hope that anyone out there who struggles this time of year can pause and remember someone that may not have been your father, but still filled the role of “dad”.

Don’t let societal expectations of fatherhood change the way you celebrate this holiday. Be thankful for the people in your life that were “daddy”. 

Or put a way that involves less snickering on the internet : 

Our fathers were our models for God. Celebrate the good ones.

Happy Father’s day.